Memories ... love them hate them ...
My memories ... why do they scar me so? Aren't they suppose to cheer me up? ... why ... why do they burn?
People grow from memories ... so i've heard... but have i grown at all? Have i learned at all?
Memories ... i wish i could turn them off whenever i want to ... What happened Jo ... What happened to you? Why can't you be happy ... why can't you stay happy ... why have you given up on happiness?
BitterSweet Memories ... embrace them ...
Have you ever had dreams of the past or future ... dreams of happy moments or sad moments ...
... I always have dreams about the past where i'm either really happy in it or really sad ... I've had dreams where i wished it'd never end ... I've had dreams where i desperately want to end ...
I hate these dreams ... i dread them ... why have happy dreams where you wake up and realise it was all images created by your subconcious mind ... having dreams that tear your apart is no doubt no different than being torn in reality ...
I was afraid to fall asleep at one point for weeks all because i didn't want to dream ... the most peaceful slumber i've had so long ago was without these dreams ... these dreams of memories that were meant to be forgotten ... dreams of people ... dreams of moments ... all that were meant to be put aside so that i can move on ... i hate these dreams ... i long to sleep ...
... sleep tight with sweet dreams ... is that too much to ask for?
I am terrified ...
Terrified of the world ...
... of the people
... of making friends then losing friends
... of falling in love then getting torn apart
... of being myself and being someone else
I am terrified of myself ... but i am more terrified of losing myself ... i am what i am ... just take it or leave it ...
Upon reaching home from work today ... looking at the empty spot by the door where Bubbles cage used to lay ... a sense of emptiness over shadow the atmosphere.
Just have to get used to not having Bubbles greeting us each time we walk pass her cage. Looking at the freshly covered grave was just too much to handle ... not being able to see Bubbles with her white white fur and pink nose sniffing the air for snacks is just too sad... i couldn't help but shed a few tears cuz i won't be able to rub her lil head anymore ...
Pets come and go ... but once you get attached to them ... they are family ... you will miss them once they go ...
O well ... at least she and her brother together with her friend enjoyed their stay with us ... those greedy lil furballs ... there's never enough watermelon skins for them =)
Peace.
I'm not looking forward to going home later ... i cannot bear to see my mum's sad face ... or see an empty, quiet cage ... not hearing Bubble's greeting for "Snack please?" ... Sigh ... i need some air ...
I miss lil Bubbles ... she so adorable ... so cheeky ... so greedy ... so spoilt ... sigh ... Good Bye sweet Bubbles ... We miss you.
In Loving Memory of :
Chestnut, Patches and Bubbles.
Bubbles ... the final and strongest of my guinea pigs.
She's going home soon.
She's old ... she's almost 8 years old.
Go in peace now lil Bubbles ... we won't forget you ...
Your greedy lil face, the way you poke your nose up when we walk pass.
The way you call for attention ... or a snack or two ...
Your thick white fur and pink nose ...
We will never forget how you would make that cute face just so we would play with you and spoil you with snacks, pets, cuddles and love...
Bubbles don't worry ... just go now and be happy ... Patches and Chestnut are waiting for you ... we'll be fine ... they miss you more. We love you always.
